All Good Things (Come to an End)
by Pridesen
Summary: Alec loved Magnus, and nothing would ever change that. He just never managed to tell it out loud, and now it was too late.


**A/N: Yeah so I was listening to ****_Maria Magdalena _****by ****_Sandra _****and for some reason I wrote this? I don't know, my mind's weird. But anyway, this is just a kind of AU-ish Malec oneshot I guess. For whatever reason I really like writing angsty stuff, apparently. So yeah, enjoy c:**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the sort-of plot, Cassandra Clare gets the credit for characters and all that other jazz.**

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Alec could count with one hand all the times he'd ever been in love. With the life he was living it was understandable, and if you considered just how many guys were willing to risk their life for the sake of dating Alec, it wasn't that surprising. But he was almost sure that he had never, ever felt like this for anyone before. Ever felt so much love that it felt like it was exploding him from the inside. And it was all directed to Magnus.

How the other man had managed to completely change Alec from the shy, closeted teenager to one who had the courage to kiss Magnus in front of a room full of shadowhunters was beyond him. But somehow Magnus had done that, and so much more, and Alec didn't have the words to thank him for that. He knew he should have told Magnus how thankful he was, and how much he loved him. He should've told all of that and more.

And now he didn't have the change to do any of that. Because without any warning, Magnus was gone. One minute he had been standing there, smiling at Alec with his eyes full of life, and the next he'd suddenly been laying on the ground, not moving. Not breathing.

_Not alive._

Alec wasn't still sure what had happened; somewhere along the fight going around them someone had cast a spell and Magnus had been standing in the way of it. It wasn't Alec's fault - he knew that deep inside. He wasn't the one who'd been figuratively pointing the gun and pulling the trigger. But still that didn't stop him from thinking that it was. If he hadn't met Magnus, if they hadn't kissed that one night, if they hadn't fallen in love, if Magnus had just stayed away from Alec - he would still be alive.

And the guilt of it was eating Alec alive. It felt thousand times worse as he sat on the cemetery, staring at the stone numbly. He didn't notice the wind blowing wildly around him, or that it had started to rain at some point. He couldn't remember how long he'd been sitting there. He just kept re-reading the same words, over and over again.

_Magnus Bane: may you rest in peace._

Nothing else. No '_We'll always love you_'s or '_Living in our hearts forever_'s. Nothing.

Alec remembered one time Magnus had said that when he died, he wanted something amazing in his gravestone; something people would never forget. "I don't want to rest in _peace_, I want to stay fabulous forever and I want everyone to know that", he'd said with a grin and Alec had laughed. It felt like million years ago.

Suddenly, Alec felt a hand on his shoulder. For a second, he hoped it was Magnus. Hoped that if Alec turned around he'd see the green and golden eyes he missed so badly. But when he turned his head, he found himself staring blankly at Jace's worried one's. And it hit him again. Alec would never see the eyes he wanted to see, smiling at him. Never see the only person he had loved.

The tears began streaming down his face before he even realised it, and in seconds Alec was hysterically sobbing against Jace's shoulder. He didn't know why Jace was there, but he was, and Alec held to him tighter than he thought was possible. Jace didn't say anything, and Alec was grateful for that. He was tired of hearing empty condolences from people he didn't even know.

"Why are you here?" Jace finally asked after minutes passed and Alec's breathing evened again to mostly normal. His voice was soft, and so un-Jace-like that if it was any other situation Alec would've laughed. It took him few seconds to talk, and it came out as quiet mumbles.

"I- I never told him..." Alec began, staring at the ground and feeling the numbness return slowly. "What?" Jace was still talking to him like to a wounded animal, gently and quietly. Alec took a shuddering breath, and lifted his eyes to look at Jace again.

"Never told him I loved him."

Jace's gaze turned from pity to sadness, and then to both, before he stood up and offered Alec his hand. Alec stared at it, not moving. He _couldn't_ leave Magnus, not now, not again. "Come on," Jace said. "Let's go home."

But for Alec, home was right there. Right where Magnus was. _Magnus_ had become his definition of _home_, and Alec couldn't bare the thought of walking away. So he shook his head, and once again turned to look at the grave. He distantly heard Jace talking, but after a while he gave up and left.

And Alec whispered the sentence he should've said ages ago when he still could have to the darkening night.

"_I love you._"

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**Okay so this is probably the only thing I've ever written that I actually ****_like, _****which is weird but the point being I would really appreciate it if you pressed that review button down there. If you even favourite this, I'll love you c:**


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